Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. First, it has the best food (aside from Cinco de Mayo which some may not consider a true holiday). Second, it’s also one of the few holidays that isn’t about giving something. No gifts. No candy. Instead, Thanksgiving is all about reflecting on what you have and returning thanks for those things. Gratefulness. Contentment. #blessed
In a pandemic, holidays all look a little different. If Thanksgiving is a holiday you typically celebrate with your family, whether they are local or out of town, gathering with them may not be possible this year. This is when having a Friendsgiving is a great option (obviously a small one this year).
Urban Dictionary defines Friendsgiving as “The celebration of Thanksgiving dinner with your friends. This usually occurs on the Wednesday before or the Friday after Thanksgiving Day, since Thanksgiving is usually reserved for family gatherings.”
Regardless of when your Friendsgiving is and whether you’re the host or a guest, here are a few things to make for a successful and memorable Friendsgiving.
Avoid traditional Thanksgiving food. Ok, so this may not fly if your only Thanksgiving celebration is a Friendsgiving. But if you’re like me, in a normal year you have Thanksgiving at work, at home and likely with at least one set of friends. While I do believe that Thanksgiving has the BEST food, there is a level to how much turkey, pumpkin and sweet potatoes one person can have. Choosing instead to go for an Italian, Mexican or all appetizer fare is a welcome change at Friendsgiving.
Take a fun and functional host/hostess gift. At most celebrations like this, the host is not only opening up their home but also has cleaned, prepped and prepared the main dish. Show your appreciation by bringing a fun and functional gift. Don’t get me wrong, a bottle of wine is always a win, but mix it up by giving something that likely won’t get consumed that day. A dishtowel with a fun saying, a charcuterie board, a wine chiller or a locally-made candle make for gifts your host can continue to enjoy after the food is all gone.
Have a playlist. Playlists give an added layer of depth to any occasion. If you’re unsure of what to put on a Friendsgiving playlist or don’t have time to pull one together, you can find many pre-made playlists on Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora and other music apps. Using keywords like Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, fall and dinner party will turn up tons of options. If you want to put a completely different spin on it, have a movie playlist instead. Showing classic holiday movies at a low volume is a fun way to enjoy time with friends. One of my favorite Nashville restaurants does this at Christmastime and it creates the perfect holiday mood (shout out to Sinema!).
Offer to bring a dish and/or pitch in for the main entree. Whether you’ll be having traditional fare or just doing heavy appetizers, bring a dish that is a crowd-pleaser. This is probably not the time to try out a new recipe you’ve never made (full disclosure: I am super guilty of this). The point of Friendsgiving is to enjoy time with your closest pals, not to stress over making food. There is no shame in bringing a prepared-by-someone-else dish. You can even disguise it by putting it on your platter. 😉 At the least, you can help the host out with expenses by chipping in for the main dish. Bonus tip: If you do bring a homemade dish, share your recipe. You can get real fancy by bringing it on a recipe card for those who may want it or just be prepared to email it out to the group later.
Keep it casual. Though there may not be many holiday gatherings this year, in most other years Thanksgiving starts six weeks-ish of various holiday parties. Keep yourself and your guests feeling comfortable and “at home” by insisting on a casual get-together. In the words of Joey Tribianni, encourage everyone to wear their “Thanksgiving pants” (and their masks because 2020). This is especially true this year when it’s likely everyone’s going out pants are the same as their workout/lounge around pants.
Sign-up for who brings what. Yes, this feels a little elementary-schoolish, but it works! If you’re hosting or coordinating Friendsgiving, having a list of options for guests to choose from takes stress off of you and your guests. For the guest who is clueless about what to bring, now they have ideas. This also prevents a Friendsgiving full of multiples of the exact same side dish or only desserts to go along with the entree (although, is that really that bad?). If you’re using an online invitation like Evite, there are options for guest sign-ups. You could also use Sign-Up Genius or just a standard text thread.
Put away the china. Friendsgiving is meant to be a laidback get-together. There’s no need to dirty all the dishes for a small group of friends. This is one event where paper and plastic will work just fine. Plus, being able to choose plates and napkins as what you can bring is a huge relief to the guest who doesn’t cook. If you still want a more put-together feel, spring for the disposable versions that resemble stainless steel flatware and real plates.
Don’t serve dinner. No one said that a Thanksgiving-related meal has to be at dinner. Mix it up by choosing for it to be a breakfast, brunch, lunch or linner (you know, that delightful time between lunch and dinner). If your Friendsgiving follows Thanksgiving, this is everyone’s chance to use Thanksgiving leftovers creatively. Or, it’s a chance to avoid typical Thanksgiving food altogether.
No matter what you eat or when you eat it, Friendsgiving is really about sharing part of a holiday with your friends. It’s a time to show your gratitude for the roles they play in your life.
I recently shared on my podcast that I prefer Friendsgiving to Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and am thankful for the multiple times in a year I can celebrate with and for them. But I live six hours away from most of them. Friendsgiving gives me the chance to celebrate the amazing friendships I have and come together with my Framily. Here’s hoping you get to spend time with your Framily this holiday season, as well.
Happy Friendsgiving!