For the past three years, I’ve hated looking at myself in the mirror.
Let me clarify: I’ve hated looking at myself in the mirror when I wasn’t clothed. (I couldn’t start out with a sentence like that!)
I’ve been unhappy with my body and, as a result, refused to look at myself until I was clothed. I couldn’t face myself.
Like many people, and maybe you, I gained some unwanted weight in 2020. I also created a few unhealthy habits for myself. Once life began to become its new normal, I had extra weight to lose and bad habits to quit.
Reversing those habits and losing the extra pounds proved more challenging than I imagined. I’d do good for a few days and then wreck all my hard work on the weekend.
Trying to correct my path turned into a never-ending roller coaster ride.
It was a ride where I continually let myself down.
The up and down and jerking back and forth was exhausting. I still very much wanted to reach my goals, but I couldn’t get beyond myself in the moment. As a result, I became frustrated with the process and myself.
I wanted off the ride.
I understood to get off the ride, I would have to change course. I would have to perpetually move forward, not looking back. So I had a “Come to Jesus” moment with myself to create a plan that would help me reach my goals and feel good about myself. Here are my four takeaways.
- Be realistic about your goals and what you can manage. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. This doesn’t mean to not challenge yourself. But if you’re spinning 19 plates, adding one more could be too much. Try using the SMART goal method to be sure what you think you want is 1) actually what you want and 2) achievable within your time and resources. If you determine your end game doesn’t fit within your time range, you don’t have to give up on yourself or your goal. You simply need to adjust.
- Be willing to fail and count it as a learning experience. And to get back up again. It may be cliche, but sometimes the turning point is just around the corner from where you fell down. Finishing with bruises and skinned knees is still finishing. And you’ve learned the best way – and the not-so-best way – to do things along the way. As Benjamin Franklin said, “I didn’t fail the test; I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
- Be willing to embrace your circumstances. I am still learning to embrace my body, however it looks each day. As I age, things are going to look different. While I can do my part to make healthy life choices, I also have to be willing to accept how getting older changes things. Set your goal, execute your dream. But if it doesn’t all happen just as you planned, embrace the progress you’ve made. You’re better than you were the day before.
- But most of all, be willing to show up for yourself. I realized my weekend crashes were happening because I wasn’t showing up for myself. I once heard a speaker say, “Don’t break promises to yourself.” Every weekend I was doing just that. I focused more on what sounded good at the moment than on Future Julie and her dreams. It’s up to you – and me – to show up for ourselves. If we don’t, no one else will.
If you take away nothing else, just be willing to show up for yourself. When you do, most everything else will fall into place.
something more
What is one way you can show up for yourself in the next week?
I’ll go first: I’m showing up for myself by having leafy greens in at least one meal every day.